Feeling like shit today - shoulder's killing me, lot back pain that's probably from swimming yesterday, and very depressed.

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In the still of the night

It's 2.50am and I've been lying here for four hours, trying to sleep, watching the world go round from the morphine pill I had to take because the pain was keeping me awake and the meditation just couldn't touch it.

The upside is that as I've been lying here, I've worked out a new work schedule to build in the meditation and swimming, and realised that the lump developing where I split my lip is probably an abcess.

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Victory!

I am delighted to announce that I've just been to the pool, and it all went swimmingly (pun very much intended).

Felt a right tit cos had to use a float cos of pain, but I swam and I feel great for it!

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So, this was my Sunday

Didn't do the mindful movement exercises yesterday, and very stiff and lot pain today. Don't know if there's a connection or if it's a coincidence.

Managed to stay awake throughout meditation this evening - first time in a week. Feel totally knackered now though - lot more than before I started.

Attempted to go to the cinema this afternoon - it's been over a year since last time. Was all going fine till discovered website was wrong & movie not on. Suppose at least I can put the failure down to their ineptitude, rather than my pain.

Hmm what rhymes with 'Vue' and suggests that something is crap...

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Update

So far, it's looking like:
*meditation in the morning, tho will require getting up earlier :-(
*mindful movement in the afternoon - dislocating is esp bad after driving, so arriving home from work is probably a good time.

Interestingly, am now finding breathing is better during meditation than at any other time - ironic, given that breathing issues was why never tried meditation before!

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Ohhmmm

Taking some time off work to concentrate on how to get max benefit out of this meditation stuff.

It's going well, but anyone who thinks navel-gazing is easy, isn't doing it right...

Incense, tinkly bells and humming to follow.

Helluva week...

Quite a week, and not in a good way. On Tuesday, I sat down in 'the mother ship' and noticed smoke rising from down the side of it - the heatpad for my back was on fire! Luckily I spotted it before it caught properly, but it scared the living shit out of me.

Then yesterday, I got out of the car to go across the carpark into a pub - only a few yards, so didn't seem necessary to take my stick, but as I walked away, the pain exploded. Had nothing to lean on, so tried to get back in the car in a hurry because in so much pain couldn't stand up. Wrenched the door open at the same time as falling into the car - and split my lip wide open on the top of the door. Blood everywhere, nearly knocked myself out, and have no idea how I didn't lose a tooth, Face all swollen today, can hardly speak or eat, certainly can't smile, but then again, have no desire to.