It's disapponting to recognise that although i managed to talk to my friend from work today, when the subject of work itself came up, I couldn't face it.

She asked if I'd spoken to our boss; I've been thinking that talking to her would be a good test of whether I'm mentally ready to work. I guess it was a good test, but unfortunately, I failed.

The thought of talking to her, hearing about work, what's been going on etc, was too difficult. I immediately felt very stressed and pressured and wanting to run away.

So I suppose the bed-working plan is still some distance away, though what I can do to hurry it up, I don't know.

I'm disappointed, but having felt that fear, I at least feel that off-sick is the right place for me right now.

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