I figured things would get worse before they got better, but this is a nightmare. Pain levels are through the roof and I'm taking morphine like smarties, but nothing's helping.

Having barely calmed down at all since Tuesday night, it's gone crazy today, following therapy session.

I know it's a good thing, that it means I'm on the right track, that the stuff we're working on is really really important, and most probably is the at the root of the pain. But it's so incredibly hard to bear.

And I know I can't stop now, or all this effort, everything I've gone through so far, will be wasted.

But Jesus Christ...

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