Only a human would be left in this kind of pain.
Posted from Blogium for iPhone
Tuesday, 7 December 2010
Worst night ever
Had the worst night ever last night - electric-shock pains through shoulder all night and still going on. Morphine not touching it.
God I feel like shiit.
God I feel like shiit.
Posted from Blogium for iPhone
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
Get worse before better?
OK, so, an update.
The meditation is still going well, and I'm still feeling more generally positive and able to do things then before (though I have had several hideous nights and have been giving serious thought to taking a LOT of pills).
The mindful movement exercises are definitely having an effect, in the sense that the range of movement has increased. The downside seems to be that the surrounding musculature is obviously really weak, and so I'm actually getting more pain and am having to take more morphine than before. I just have to hope that if I keep going, the muscles etc will strengthen and the pain will reduce a bit.
The dislocating also seems better since the exercises. Now, rather than dislocating and then locking solid, it's cracking but keeping going.
The meditation is still going well, and I'm still feeling more generally positive and able to do things then before (though I have had several hideous nights and have been giving serious thought to taking a LOT of pills).
The mindful movement exercises are definitely having an effect, in the sense that the range of movement has increased. The downside seems to be that the surrounding musculature is obviously really weak, and so I'm actually getting more pain and am having to take more morphine than before. I just have to hope that if I keep going, the muscles etc will strengthen and the pain will reduce a bit.
The dislocating also seems better since the exercises. Now, rather than dislocating and then locking solid, it's cracking but keeping going.
Posted from Blogium for iPhone
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
Up and Down
Pleased that managed to ease screwdriver-in-the-eye headache today with meditation rather than meds, but still pissed off that haven't been able to swim for a week because pain so bad.
Meditation homework for the week is to practice recognising which 'mind' I'm operating in, and switch over if it's not the best one for the situation. Feeling a lot like Worzel Cummidge...
Meditation homework for the week is to practice recognising which 'mind' I'm operating in, and switch over if it's not the best one for the situation. Feeling a lot like Worzel Cummidge...
Posted from Blogium for iPhone
Tuesday, 26 October 2010
Came perilously close to taking a fistful of pills yesterday. Not to try and do myself in (risk of that accidentally happening was actually what stopped me) but just to get a break from the pain and the hideous side effects from the pill I'd already had to take.
Today's not looking any better either.
Today's not looking any better either.
Posted from Blogium for iPhone
Monday, 25 October 2010
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
Unexpected discovery
Had a huge pain flare up at work today (sitting in a meeting, unable to speak and couldn't move for an hour after everyone else left!). Ended up having to take two morphine pills and wait an hour and a half just to get out to the car.
The interesting thing, though, was that as soon as it started, I could tell it was going to be a huge kick off; there was none of the usual uncertainty, wondering if it will flare up then drop off - I absolutely knew it was going to be massive. That meant I was able to take the first pill really early on - despite how bad it was, things would've been a whole lot worse if I'd waited.
This has to be a consequence of the meditation - developing a greater awareness of your body and your pain means you can better interpret what's happening and act accordingly.
The interesting thing, though, was that as soon as it started, I could tell it was going to be a huge kick off; there was none of the usual uncertainty, wondering if it will flare up then drop off - I absolutely knew it was going to be massive. That meant I was able to take the first pill really early on - despite how bad it was, things would've been a whole lot worse if I'd waited.
This has to be a consequence of the meditation - developing a greater awareness of your body and your pain means you can better interpret what's happening and act accordingly.
Posted from Blogium for iPhone
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