Pain marathon

I've been lying in bed, rigid with pain, for the past three hours.

The pain started to kick off at 7.30 and so I went to lie down. I'd taken two top up pills at 5.30, so had to wait till 8.30 before I could take more. At 9, I took the scheduled triple slow release dose (as per the past four days).

Only now, at 10.30, is all that finally kicking in enough that I can get up and draw the curtains, go to the loo, etc.

I'm still going to have to give it another half hour before I feel confident enough to go into the other room and feed the chins. They'll have to wait till tomorrow for a dustbath and some fresh water, but at least they won't starve.

In total, I've now taken 100mg of morphine today. That's the norm at the moment. I just hope I can fall asleep quickly, or I
fear I'll wind up having to top up again.

The reason I introduced the evening triple slow release dose was to avoid late night too ups, and so far it's worked, but today I don't know.

12.30. As I feared, the pain flared up again and I had to take another two top up pills an hour ago. So far, they're doing little except make me paranoid; I'm lying here, fighting the pain and telling myself over and over that it's OK, I'm safe, when I don't actually believe a word of it.

I think it's going to be a very long night.


1.30am. Aaaaaarrrggghhhhhh