Did you really just ask me that?

What is it about wearing a sling that makes people think it's OK to ask intrusive, personal and potentially upsetting questions?

'What have you been up to?'
'So, what's actually wrong with it then?'
'How did you do it?'
'Can't they do anything about it?'
and, my personal favourite, a new low reached today:
'Was it your fault?'

They'd never do it to someone in a wheelchair - they wouldn't dare. But wear a sling, and they're off. It doesn't matter how vague an answer you give, how much you try to change the subject. It's like you're not really wearing a sling, you're wearing a sign on your forehead that says:

'Of course, Random Stranger, I would like nothing more than to be grilled by you about my problems. No, no, please do go on - your inane curiousity is of far more importance than my privacy, or desire not to be reminded about what happened.

Oh wait, you want to tell me all about YOUR car accident? Why yes, you're right, that's even MORE fun!'

Good God!

I think it's all linked in to what I call Disabled Access Syndrome; the assumption that disability=wheelchair. Maybe it's because the wheelchair is used as the sign for disabled parking, access etc, but there seems to be an assumption that:
a) if you're disabled, you are therefore in a wheelchair
b) if you're not in a wheelchair, you're not really disabled (and your condition is, presumably, somehow temporary).

Think about it: disabled toilets are all set up for wheelchair users, but not for the rest of us - no mirrors, sinks or hand dryers at standing height. As a tall person with difficulty bending, this causes me huge problems. Disabled changing rooms in clothes shops are the same - there's lots of space and somewhere to sit, but no full length mirror. I need that changing room so I can sit and rest, but what if I'm trying on a top - am I supposed to guess how it looks? Or squat down? Companies think 'put in a ramp and we're sorted', but getting up a ramp is harder for me than steps are - I need low-rise steps, with handrails ON BOTH SIDES. I could go on.

So, since you're not in a wheelchair, you can't really be disabled - just a bit inconvenienced maybe? - you can use the ordinary toilets / changing rooms, right? And since your - ahem - problem, is only a minor inconvenience, there's no reason why I shouldn't give in to my natural curiousity and ask you all about it, is there? I mean, it's not like it's anything serious, or permanent, after all.

I bet if I were missing my arm, they wouldn't be so damned quick with their questions. Yet if I was missing an arm, I'd be a whole lot less disabled; like I've said before, I could heal, rehabilitate and move on. Look at people like Heather Mills (leg not arm, but you get the gist) - I can't even go to an ice-rink to watch people skate, never mind get out there myself, yet she can.


God, this whole disability thing would be a lot easier if people weren't so fucking ignorant.