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Tuesday, 2 August 2011
I think I'd be better off without all the revelations. Each time something's revealed, I get all excited and hopeful. Then it doesn't work, or it brings on more memory and depression and I just feel worse. The peaks and troughs are unbearable.
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You're on your own
So, my call to the Complex Needs group.
The reception bloke was without doubt the most obstructive, rude, unhelpful little oik I've come across in quite some time. His sole intention was clearly to keep out as many people as possible. He had the radio turned up so loud that I couldn't hear a word he said, yet he had the audacity to complain that he couldn't hear me.
It pisses me off no end that the health service which is supposed to be there to help us all, is invariably ex-clusive and almost impoosible to access. I've paid my National Insurance contributions for 20 years. I never request or accept assistance unless I have a genuine need, I don't waste people's time. If I'm asking for help, it's because I need it, yet no-one seems to notice that.
The very nature of mental health issues makes that the process of asking for and receiving help is even more difficult than it would normal be. What patients need is empathy and respect, not to be treated like a kid in a canteen trying to score a second helping of dessert.
When I did finally manage to get the idiot on the phone to help me, it transpired that the guy I need to see is on holiday for three weeks, so it'll be September at the very earliest before I can be seen. Probably a lot longer.
So once again, I'm left struggling by myself, and no-one in the medical profession gives a toss. 'National Health Service'? 'National you're-on-your-own Service', you mean.
The reception bloke was without doubt the most obstructive, rude, unhelpful little oik I've come across in quite some time. His sole intention was clearly to keep out as many people as possible. He had the radio turned up so loud that I couldn't hear a word he said, yet he had the audacity to complain that he couldn't hear me.
It pisses me off no end that the health service which is supposed to be there to help us all, is invariably ex-clusive and almost impoosible to access. I've paid my National Insurance contributions for 20 years. I never request or accept assistance unless I have a genuine need, I don't waste people's time. If I'm asking for help, it's because I need it, yet no-one seems to notice that.
The very nature of mental health issues makes that the process of asking for and receiving help is even more difficult than it would normal be. What patients need is empathy and respect, not to be treated like a kid in a canteen trying to score a second helping of dessert.
When I did finally manage to get the idiot on the phone to help me, it transpired that the guy I need to see is on holiday for three weeks, so it'll be September at the very earliest before I can be seen. Probably a lot longer.
So once again, I'm left struggling by myself, and no-one in the medical profession gives a toss. 'National Health Service'? 'National you're-on-your-own Service', you mean.
Posted from Blogium for iPhone
Terrible neck pressure today.
I woke up with a thumping screwdriver-in-the-eye headache, and it's just kept getting worse. No position helped, so my only option has been pills. The slow release ones have had limited effect, so I've had to take quick release ones, and more than since I changed the pill regime.
It's really disappointing, after last night's epiphany, I was hoping to find the pain going down and things getting better. Instead, they're worse. The epiphany was all about the pain - I still haven't quite figured out how to apply it to compressed nerves.
On top of that, I contacted the Complex Needs group, per the psychologist's instructions and the doctor's recommendation. Ii didn't go well - see next post - and left me feeling both furious and hopeless, in equal measure.
I wound up hurling china around the kitchen in an effort to get rid of that rage; as a note to self, it's probably better to do that when you're not barefoot.
I woke up with a thumping screwdriver-in-the-eye headache, and it's just kept getting worse. No position helped, so my only option has been pills. The slow release ones have had limited effect, so I've had to take quick release ones, and more than since I changed the pill regime.
It's really disappointing, after last night's epiphany, I was hoping to find the pain going down and things getting better. Instead, they're worse. The epiphany was all about the pain - I still haven't quite figured out how to apply it to compressed nerves.
On top of that, I contacted the Complex Needs group, per the psychologist's instructions and the doctor's recommendation. Ii didn't go well - see next post - and left me feeling both furious and hopeless, in equal measure.
I wound up hurling china around the kitchen in an effort to get rid of that rage; as a note to self, it's probably better to do that when you're not barefoot.
Monday, 1 August 2011
I figured out something last night that I think is probably huge. Everything, physically and mentally is way worse today, I suspect because I'm right about that discovery.
I have no idea how to cope with this. I've had to hike up the morphine to deal with all the pain. If I'm lucky, it'll send me to sleep too, so I won't have to think about all this stuff.
I have no idea how to cope with this. I've had to hike up the morphine to deal with all the pain. If I'm lucky, it'll send me to sleep too, so I won't have to think about all this stuff.
Posted from Blogium for iPhone
Feel like utter shit. Depression is really bad, shoulder and back are killing me. Can't bear this.
Please just kill me now. Please just kill me. Don't make me keep living through this hell.
Please just kill me now. Please just kill me. Don't make me keep living through this hell.
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