Diary extract

This isn't going to end. I want to b dead. I hate myself for creating the pain. I hate the pain and I hate me for creating it. I should have just killed myself when when things first got really bad. When I first wanted to do it. I should have just done it then. I'm a coward that I didn't just do it right then. Or last year, when the anniversary was so bad. I said I wasn't going to be here for another anniversary, yet look what tommorrow is. WHY CAN'T I JUST FUCKING KILL MYSELF AND BE DONE WITH THIS FUCKING MISERY? I hate the pain and I hate myself for creating it. What kind of a fucking freak am I that THAT was the best thing my subconscious could come up with to deal with my problems. I want to die. Plz just make the pain stop. Please. I want to beat the fucking shit out of myself for creating this fucking pain. Punching myself over n over in the shoulder 'I fucking hate you. Let me go.'

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