Friday, 13 April 2012

This should've been posted at 3am, but the internet was down...

I haven't been on for a while because there's nothing to say. Things continue to get worse and worse, mentally and physically, and increasingly, there seems to be only one way out of all this.

I don't want to, but if the therapy doesn't resolve the pain, I'll have no choice. I can't carry on like this. I desperately want to stop the therapy, because the feelings it's bringing up are infinitely worse than the pain (not that I would ever have thought that was possible). I daren't stop though, because I'd never know if I was on the cusp of change and things might've improved if I'd just held on for a few more days.

But if I keep going till things improve mentally, and there's no change in the pain, then that's the cut-off point.

It's been five years, I've tried every pharmacological option they've offered me, and by then I'll have exhausted every psychological possibility. At which point, I'm out.

Posted from Blogium for iPhone

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