The back pain has been hideous this morning. Along with the utter hopelessness of the depression, it's left me unable even to crawl out of bed.

That back pain has been morphine-related - ie my body thinking it needs more, but my shoulder has been OK, so there *was* no need for any more.

Having been forced out of bed by a delivery arriving a day earlier than I expected, my back feels a bit better. Possibly because, since food had just arrived, I was able to forced myself to eat something.

Doesn't make any difference to the wanting to die though.

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