I get the most appalling stomach pains, have gut wrenching diahorrea and end up collapsed on the bathroom floor, bathed in a cold sweat. Eventually I manage to drag myself into a scoldingly hot bath to try and ease the cramps.
Each time, I think I'm going to have to call an ambulance, but the thought of being found naked on the floor, covered in my own excrement always puts me off.
What a delightful way to spend a Saturday afternoon.
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