Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Guess what...

I feel the best I've felt since the accident.

I also feel the least suicidal I've felt since the accident.

I haven't had any serious pain since Friday. That's four days.

Four days in a row of feeling OK - limited shoulder pain, limited neck pressure, limited back pain. No migraines, only slight poking sensations in my eye.

I've had to lie down a fair bit the last two days, mostly because I can't keep my eyes open, and I've still been taking a lot of morphine (hence the sleepy).

That's partly due to fear of the pain, partly my body's dependence on it, meaning I get muscle cramps if I reduce it too fast, partly because the techniques I'm using to fight the pain aren't sustainable when I'm trying to go to sleep. But the morphine levels are less than previously, and they're coming down every day - the safe way to come off opiates.

The improvement in my condition isn't just spontaneous, and it's taking work and concentration to maintain it. I'm willing to put in the effort - as much as it takes - I just hope it continues to pay off.

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