Thursday 3 March 2011

Freaking out

God I feel awful. I'm having hideous panic attacks because of all the morphine I've had to take today, and it's freaking me out.

Went on a day at the beach today; it was great, all that fresh air, watching the sea roll in, it was lovely. The pain flared early afternoon and so I had to take extra meds then wait for ages till I could get to the car. When I finally did, I had to take even more pills (obviously, I wasn't the one who was driving!).

All the way back it felt like we were doing about 100mph, i was so high. I went straight to bed when we got back, where I've now been for two hours. I had to take the evening's slow release pill because the pain was getting bad, so now I feel even more stoned, am having raging panic attacks and to cap it all, the pain is still bad and I really need another quick release pill but I'm way too scared. What am I supposed to do?

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