It's very scary, this business of your emotions going completely haywire. You just never know what's going to happen next. And there's the fact that half the time you're not actually reacting to what you think you're reacting to. Instead, the present has triggered some memory of the past, and THAT'S what you're really upset about.
Tonight's meltdown felt like it would go on forever, till I realised what was really hurting. Now I feel a lot better for having got all that out, but I know it'll happen all over again tomorrow, or the next day.
The loneliness and lack of control I constantly feel over the pain takes me right back to being a scared little girl who can't get anyone to help her. And suddenly, I'm dealing with all of that all over again.
Posted from Blogium for iPhone
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