I suppose I should be proud - given the extraordinary pain levels, it's pretty bloody astonishing that I haven't done one or the other. And there's every possibility I still might.
The morphine limit has gone out the window. I should be upset about that, but the only alternative *would* have been suicide. Even with the hiked-up morphine, it still only meant I could breathe without extra pain; I still couldn't move or sit up or do anything.
And there's no sign of any improvement. I don't know if I can make it through a night of this as well.
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