Wednesday 1 June 2011

I wish I could go back in time. I'd go back to when I started my University course.

I gave up a well-paid job, company car and all the trappings, to move to a pokey little flat up north, and live off a tiny student loan and part-time waitressing.

It was really hard work and I loved every minute of it. Of all the times in my life, that's the one I'd go back to. I loved the freedom to learn, the endless books and the enormous challenges.

I was fit and healthy then. I used to lug half the library round in my backpack, run for buses and charge round the restaurant. I juggled plates and drinks, essays and exams and I've never been happier.

I'd give anything to go back to then, to not be living this hollowed out existence of pain and pills. At least then I had a future. At least then it was worth the effort. At least then there was a point to being alive.

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