Friday 29 July 2011

Unusual

Pain levels have stayed very low today, following the unexpected rage-release last night.

I took one 10mg slow release pill at 7am. Because I knew I needed to drive to the doctors, I was planning to take another at midday, instead of one at 10 and one at 12.30. But I wasn't feeling the need, and I knew driving would be better with none, so I didn't bother.

In fact, I didn't take any more morphine till 5pm, when I got back, and only then because I was getting bad back pain that I know is a withdrawal symptom. Not surprising, since yesterday I was on 105mg and today just 10. I was amazed I hadn't had withdrawal pains before that, to be honest.

So, 30mg so far, and I'll take another 20 at bedtime, instead of the usual 30, and again its to prevent withdrawal pains, since at the moment, I'm still not getting anything more than the niggly shoulder pain. I am still getting some neck pressure problems though, and the withdrawal pains in my back are bad. And I've been having trouble to a couple of days with almost passing out whenever I start moving around. It's happening a lot at home and did it again when I got out of the car at the doc's.

All of that is all very well, mind you, when on top, the depression is going crazy and I just want to crawl into bed and cry.

I'd rather have the pain than the depression, so we'll just have to see what happens over the next few days.

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