I've had enough of all this. I'm scared to go to bed. And tomorrow will be no different than today. And then there's the next day, and the next day, and the one after that. Please make it stop.
11.45 All the pain I've ever had in my shoulder is as nothing compared to how much my soul hurts right now.
That website I found talked about remembering that if you go ahead and kill yourself, you never get to feel the pain stop. Everything just stops. That was a good deterrent before; now it just feels like a reason to go ahead. I don't care if I don't get to feel the pain stop, I just can't keep going *with* the pain.
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