Shit

Despite how shit I was feeling at the time, the psychologist said I was looking good. At least she didn't say I was looking well, I suppose.

I guess it's to do with having put on a bit of weight, and also my hair looking a bit more 'styled' now it's growing out a bit more.

I wish I felt as good as I apparently looked, because I feel like shit. My mood is still really low since the appointment, and my attempt to reduce the morphine a bit (I've been on double dose for the past three days because if the neck pressure) failed, and I've been in quite a bit of pain all evening. The thought of handfuls of pills has been swirling round my head all evening. I feel miserable and am dreading tonight because of the panic attacks.

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