Every other post, I'm talking about how I can't take any more, how I just want to die. It must be bloody irritating to read, and the 'crying-wolf' effect concerns me.
I guess it can't be helped. The blog has always been dual-purpose: it's a way for me to talk to the world about what's going on, but it's also an opportunity for me to be completely honest about how I feel, including whatever self-indulgent whingeing I feel I need.
No text can simultaneously serve as both open letter and diary, though, so, I apologise for all the end-of-my-tether ranting. It's not there to elicit sympathy, it's just the 'diary' side of the blog taking over.
Having that outlet is crucial for me to get through all this, since at the moment I rarely feel able to actually talk about it with anyone. So whilst I cringe at the thought of people reading all this and thinking 'for christ's sake, either get on with it and top yourself, or shut the fuck up!', I'm afraid I'm going have to keep on writing. I wouldn't blame you if you decided not to keep reading though.
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