It's taken an hour of faffing to find a new position that sort of works. Throughout that time, the neck pressure's been building and building, giving me a horrible screwdriver in the eye that i'm terrified will turn into migraine, like it did yesterday.

This position isn't as good as the last one, but the last one isn't working any more, and this is better than nothing.

The pain in my shoulder is getting steadily worse, despite the triple dose at 2.30. I'm scared to take any top-ups though, because I already feel dizzy and stoned and I can still taste the sick from last night.

I don't know what to do.


4.30. I had no choice but to take another top-up dose - the pain was just too much. I took four again, because any less at the moment is pointless. It means today's morphine intake will be as bad as yesterday's (if not worse - that's based on no more top-ups, but there's no guarantee it will be possible).

And there's still the question of getting to the doc's tomorrow or Friday.


6pm. It was time to take the next slow release dose, which left me with the question of 'how much'? I decided the likelihood of the pain breaking through the current 'standard' dose was too high; to avoid another 20mg top-up, I increased the slow release dose by 10mg. It's a gamble, I just hope it pays off.

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