Pain is unbearable today. I can't do it any more.

So far today 80mg Oxycontin, 15mg Oxynorm. And I still can't catch my breath for the pain.


3pm I've just taken another four Oxynorm (20mg). I don't care any more.


4pm. It stopped. It's taken 100mg of morphine and ten hours of agonised waiting, but it finally stopped. I don't think it's going to last long - already my arm and back feel odd, the familiar precursor to pain on a heavy medication day - but for a little while, the cloud lifts.

Unless you've lived this pain, there's no possible way you could understand the relief. It would be like asking a blind man to appreciate the colour blue.

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